25. 30. 35.

So I found a cure for the 'oh I'm growing up' freak out that had taken over me these past few days. I mean, I'd started to get an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I'd think about the future. It seemed like an endless stretch of maturity and responsibility. EW. So I sat and spent an hour doing my most favourite thing ever - I made a list. But not just any list. This is the 25-30-35 list and it made me the happiest I've been these past few days! :D And here it goes (not in order of priority): 


BY THE TIME I TURN 25, I WANT TO:

• Start taking dance classes again
• Learn to cook food from three different types of cuisines
• Go to Paris with Karthik
• Learn Italian
• Go to Italy and practice that Italian
• Sponsor a kid's education
• Get a fish pedicure
• Finish my Masters
• Go to Disneyland
• Get red streaks in my hair
• Own the perfect black dress and pair of heels
• Get a tattoo

BY THE TIME I TURN 30, I WANT TO:

• Go to Egypt and Turkey
• Teach kids (what? I'm not so sure)
• Learn how to read and write in Tamil
• Get laser surgery on my eyes
• Get a pet
• Have kids

BY THE TIME I TURN 35, I WANT TO:

• Write a book
• Buy a house
• Stop working full time

(Best part? This is 100% realistic and fiance approved. :D :D :D)

Feeling whiny

How do you ever know when you're grown up enough to be responsible for yourself? How do you know when you no longer need to be fed and pampered and taken care of? How do you know when you're old enough to find a job and keep at it?

Aside from the fact that marriage to my (then) boyfriend is the most magical thing that's ever going to happen to me, I realise it comes with a bucket-load of responsibilities. No more sleeping till noon just 'cos I feel like it, no more skipping college (and soon work) just because I'm lazy or my hair looks crappy, no more waiting to be served at the dining table myself, no more magically washed and ironed clothes on my bed... the list, quite frankly, is both long and scary. I try to tell myself to suck it up and well, gear up for everything to come. I mean, my fiance does it. And without whining. How tough can it be?!

Oh who am I kidding?! I'm a pseudo adult. I like being fed when I'm tired and grumpy. I hate most household chores (washing vessels and dusting being exceptions) and bribe my brother to do them for me. I rarely cook 'ghar ka khaana', it's mostly pizza, pasta type of stuff that no one can eat on a daily basis. Plus you know what my ideal day is? Wake up, watch a movie, eat, bathe (sometimes), watch another movie, eat, watch HIMYM or Ugly Betty or... you get the damn picture, don't you?!!!

And this may be slightly unrelated but I'm scared of moving to France as well. It's a new country, a new city, a new job (hopefully) and a new college (HOPEFULLY). And I'm oddly quiet around new people - which by the way, is something I didn't discover till the last few days of college when EVERYONE told me, "Oh you came across as quite a snob" (except replace 'snob' with 'stuck up bitch'!) I never thought I'd say this, but I want to stay in India. And not just that, I want to stay with my in laws in Madras. If my fiance's reading this, he's going to be very surprised and I cannot blame him because one of the first times that the possibility of staying with his parents came up, I was less than glad. But I LOVE them now! And I want to stay with them and take care of them. And help around the house and all, but not so much that the word 'housework' make me feel queasy, you know? And of course, they dote on me as well and my dad in law totally takes my side over ka's so yeah, it'd be great if we could do that. But of course - not happening.

Anyhoo, this rant has run its course and I'd just like to say that I DO love ka with all my heart and I'm absofreakinlutely EXCITED about the life that we're going to live together. As long as he does most of the housework and cooking. And you know, gets me a TV. :D

My name is?

I was the first grandchild on mom's side of the family and my parents' first born as well. Much before I was born, my parents had decided to call me Kirti. It means fame and of course, they wished that their little daughter would grow up to be famous worldwide. :D 

Enter the pandit at the 'namkaran' ceremony who was shocked at their choice of name. "Bada hi ashubh hai.", he reportedly screeched and ordered my parents to name me something starting with 'A'. So after much deliberation, I was named Aparajita after a character that Vyjanthimala (spelling?) portrays in some film.

Thus began a lifelong tussle between my 'ghar ka naam' and my 'school waala naam'. Kirti was the naughty little chit of a girl who was spoilt rotten by everyone at home and Aparajita went on to become the serious, studious type who sat quietly and read in a corner while her classmates rolled in the dust outside. I'm not talking like I'm schizophrenic to freak you guys out, that's just how it was. It took me many years to open up and tell my friends to call me Kirti which relieved me from the burden of being good little Aparajita all the time! Of course, names never stay as they are. So Kirti became Ki, Kiki, Kiku and all such sorts of nonsense. And when I was old enough to have them, the steady stream of boyfriends in my life would use the stereotyped 'baby', sweetheart', 'darling' endearments instead of my name, which made me even more infuriated with what I have come to call 'the name situation'.

The boyfriends became history but the confusion continued. My in laws wouldn't call me Kirti! And why not?! Because their son in law's name is also Kirti! Apart from cringing at the fact that my name seems to be a unisex one, I was stuck wondering what they could call me. Ki wasn't 'proper' and despite that fact that it has been suggested to me many times, Appu was a BIG, FAT NO!!!!!!!! My dad in law finally solved my problem by deciding to call me Chikku, what he used to call my fiance when he was a baby. It's not my name of choice but I'd rather be named after a fruit (chikku) than an elephant (appu)! And of course, the fiance himself calls me anything from 'wifey' to jackass' to 'barbie'. Thanks baby!!!

The conclusion? There isn't one. Every time someone calls me, it takes me a minute or two to turn out, I realise too late when I'm being referred to in conversations and I end up ignoring my teachers very often when they go 'Apaaaaaaraaaaaaaajitaaaaaaaaaa'. :D Okay so that last one is often on purpose but that doesn't mean I'm not facing a genuine problem! Ask me what my name is and you'll know!!!

He said, she said

She tripped for the millionth time that day. He'd been watching her from the corner of his eye, so he knew just when to stretch his arm out and stop her from hitting the ground.

He said - You are SUCH a freak. *amused look*

She said - FINE. *pout*

He said - I like you okay? :)

She said - *kiss*

:D (updated)

For more go to - http://kirtikarthikwedding.wordpress.com/the-engagement/photos/

I'm OFF :D

It's my last day of singledom. EVER. And I cannot wait for it to get over.

Just a thought

I read something in the newspaper today about women feeling bad about their bodies. Now while I'd like to pretend like I love every bit of me, the truth is that I'm very insecure about how I look. Not that anyone's said anything to me. But in a world of airbrushed, size zero beauties - I've half convinced myself that I'm so far from perfect that it's cause for concern. This year is the year I get married, the year that so many eyes will be watching me and it's been driving me nuts. I keep staring at myself looking for problems that need fixing.

But today I saw a few old photos of myself - I look so happy and radiant and free from worries. No facial, no threading, waxing, botox in the world can achieve that look. And I AM happy. I'm happy beyond belief! So I just have to accept myself as I am. Because the guy I love has. Because, the truth is, I AM beautiful. And I used to believe it. I just need to rediscover that belief.

I know I said I wouldn't blog but...

...I also thought my boyfriend would be MIA (missing in action) from his own engagement.

Love story :P

A random meeting+a few comments on blogger+a few general emails = finding the love of your life? Doesn't sound possible, does it? Well it happened to me. The same guy who started off as that random friend, then became the guy I'd ask for boyfriend advice (yes, I feel silly even admitting it) and became so close that we'd exchange hundreds of text messages every day without it amounting to any logical conversation announced one beautiful Sunday morning that he'd never let me go back if I ever came to France and that he wants my ring size! Surprisingly, despite not having known him for very long, I didn't say no.

We had the longest conversations planning our lives together, unsure when and how it would happen but getting more and more convinced that we were headed in one direction. Sort of stupid of us, really, considering that we stayed at opposite ends of the country and that he kept travelling abroad. Still, he'd keep meeting me whenever possible and spent gazillions of rupees on phone bills - staying by my side through the smallest of things like shopping trips and huge things like exams.

He was moving to France though and both of us had huge arguments about how we were going to manage this version of long distance. It was a scary time for us both and we were at our uncertain best. But we got through that as well. My brave man even faced up to my mom's questioning and told her his "intentions" and she was floored! After some initial reservations, even his parents agreed wholeheartedly. It all happened so quickly that even now, I stop to think how we could have been so lucky.

It was a big decision planning when and how we would get married. I'm just twenty so we had to answer a lot of questions and ignore numerous hurtful comments. But hats off to my parents, they managed everyone's curiousity very well and (I suspect) they didn't even let half the crap reach me. And of course, he was always there, rushing out of meetings to walk up and down the corridor in his office, pacifying me! His parents, despite health issues, have gone all out in the planning process and I could not have found nicer in laws. I'm grateful that I will never have to face the typical evil mother in law!!! 

Why am I reliving all this now? Because I'm going to be his fiancée in one week! I won't be blogging for a bit ('cos I have to go get engaged!!!) but this long post should more than make up for my absence. I'm signing off with a gust post that he had once written for my blog. 

Dear Kirti,

Oh boy! What can I say about you that hasn't been said before?!! Smart, chirpy, full of life & an awesome writer! And beneath all of that is someone with a wonderful heart that cares very much for people & makes them feel at ease in any given situation.

I remember the first bits of conversation surrounding marriage & what we felt about it, discussing the pros & cons of every situation. And we have never looked back since then, have we? It's amazing to know that we have grown so fond of each other over such a short span of time. The first few conversations made you see the real Karthik, the perennially sarcastic one with a very practical approach to life, with absolutely no flavor for hypothetical situations. But you did not give up on me, did you? You were very persistent in making sure that I said something other than 'hmmmm' in varying intonations. And I am pleasantly surprised that it is possible for me speak for half of the time during our conversations. Yay! :D

You've been by my side while I've made some very important decisions in my life. Been by my side during all this crazy travel & made me feel as though everything's normal & never gave me the chance to feel homesick. Vodafone & T-Mobile will be laughing their way to the bank this quarter :D

What story wouldn't be complete without a few tiffs? Remember the time I stood in the sun for 34 minutes? Or the time I stood by the lake in sub-zero temperatures? Or the time I was almost carried away by a gust of storm wind? Oh oh oh, how about the time.. Err, never mind, you get the point don't you? :P
Whenever you feel like yelling at poor little Karthik, give yourself a little whack on the head & you'll see things crystal clear :)

I sense that this is fast becoming a post about Karthik Jayaraman & not Ki. So here goes!

Kirti Aparajita Kumar, you truly are a great friend, a great listener (even if you don't realise that by now), the perfect confidante & I am oh so glad that I found you!! :)

All the best for everything that's ahead of you, you silly little bundle of joy. Rest assured that Oldie's out there looking after you.

Loads of love,

Karthik

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! :) :) :)

I'm glowing :D

I've been unwell for AGES now. I had a bout of herpes, followed by fever and an eye inflammation that just won't go away. I'm not allowed to wear my contacts either so I'm feeling all frumpy in my specs. And to top it all off, my skin's been looking all tired and stressed and you all know why I'm trying to look gorgeous! 

But I'm not writing this post to whine about my problems in life (yes, you can heave a sigh of relief now). This is to review something that has worked wonders for my skin and made me look radiant - the Biotique Clove Oil and Wild Turmeric face pack.

This pack is an anti-blemish pack so it's very suitable for those who are prone to pimples or spots or those who want to slightly even out their patchy skin. It spreads on to the face very easily but has a slightly tingly sensation that might take a bit of getting used to. However, that doesn't last very long and the pack is dry in a jiffy. You can wash it off with warm water but I gently swabbed it off with cotton pads dipped in rose water. 

 I'm not usually the type to put something that I've not whipped up myself on my face. But I made an exception to try this out and I'm beyond pleased with the results. Try it if you're in the mood for a skin pick me up. 

But if you'd rather not spend and you want scrumptious skin, I have a home made solution for dull, patchy skin. Just mix two tbsp of curd with one tbsp honey and apply it onto your face. Wash off with warm water in ten minutes. And go out looking your radiant best!

P.S. Yes I know I've never reviewed anything beauty related ever. But I may make this a regular feature. Any feedback? Like it or hate it, let me know. :D

Facing up to things

God. Sometimes I wish I had been more of a girly girl all my life. You know the kind I mean? Perfect clothes, styled hair, shades, high heels and flawless make up that almost isn't there. Me? I wear whatever I like even if it isn't perfect, my hair has a zillion bad days, I've never worn shades, I hate heels and I've NEVER worn make up. Sure, I'm a kajal (kohl) addict and I own a gazillion lip balms but that's it. And suddenly, life springs a wedding on me.

I know I'll be expected to have some make up on. And I'm going to have to throw myself at the mercy of some parlour lady and hope for the best. But the problem is - the major functions are in Madras. So it won't even be MY parlour! To make things worse, my boyfriend insists that make up will make me look either orange or deathly white and "plastic". Great. Just great. Way to take the pressure of me baby.

I asked a few friends and went out and bought something called Maybelline Matte Mousse. It looked good in the shop. Really, it did. And it felt all soft and like it would be like heaven to put on. Nope. I tried some on for a party yesterday and ended up with people asking me why I was looking so pale. And this with my engagement less than two weeks away. Now I'm scared out of my wits. What if I look like a clown?! I know what I want - a tinted moisturiser type of thing. Something that's barely there but makes my skin a bit more 'wow'. But I don't know where on earth I'm going to find something like that. Help?

Holi

I stopped playing Holi two three years ago. I'm not sure why I stopped - maybe because my best friend moved away or maybe because people started playing with eggs and grease and some weird silver paint that wouldn't wash off no matter what. But today, I woke up with an excited feeling in the pit of my stomach. My mind screeched 'holi haiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' and I decided that I WOULD go down to play, no matter what.

Yeah, that didn't happen. I'm having some eye problems and my engagement being just ten days away (yes, I count the days. Wouldn't you?!) my worried parents decided that I wasn't allowed to play Holi this year. So while the three of them (my parents and my brother) ran downstairs, I was forced to watch all the excitement from my balcony. I felt like such a fool for missing all this excitement all these years. All the kids would crowd under my balcony and yell at me to come down but I'd nod sagely from above and pretend like I was too old for colours and water balloons. I guess I always thought I could go back when I wanted.

And now, it's over. This was my last Holi in Delhi. Next year, I'll be in France (I think) where no one's even heard of this wonderful festival (stupid froggies) or in Chennai where I'm not sure people play Holi or even if they do, I'm not sure who I'd play with or what my in laws would think if I came back looking all 'bluegreenpinkredyellow'!

Anyway, Happy Holi to you all. Hope you played to your hearts' content, enough to make up for my not playing! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH to Dm and HAPPY ENGAGEMENT MONTH to me!!! :)

P.S. The link for the wedding webpage is there on the header. Do check it out. :D