June 16, 2010

memories


A friend once promised me that a long distance relationship would be horrid because I would “forget every goddamn thing that was a reason to love him.” At the time, I thought he had a point. The worst times in my relationship with Ka were the days preceding his move to France, with both of us petrified of change to the extent that we made promises about breaking up if it got too hard.

Did it get “too hard?” It most certainly did.  We had hundreds of little arguments, lots of big fights and even a few serious episodes when everything looked like it would go just downhill.

But I have a trick – I think of his smile. I doubt if anyone has ever seen Ka smile in any of the photographs he’s got up on Orkut, Facebook or the like. He gets by mostly by looking into the camera with serious eyes and a little smirk playing about his lips, but never a smile.
It is only when he is amused by my silly antics or looking at me lovingly that he breaks into a smile. And what a smile it is! It lights up his entire face, including those piercing eyes. That smile is one of the reasons that I fell in love with him and its carefully preserved memory is what gets me through arguments and fights – big and small. My friend was wrong – it is something I could never forget.

To anyone who is afraid of being apart from someone they love, all I can say is – take one memory and keep it carefully in your heart. And wait till you can recreate it all over again. And if you do forget, ask yourself whether it was love, after all or simply a game of pretence.


17 people had something to say:

Pavitra .... said...

Aww sweetheart...
Thats exactly what I'm going through...
The uncertainty of the next year is killing me...Its making me paranoid and very clingy..
But you have made me realize that we can make it possible..
and yes...I do have a memory of him...which makes me forget that I was angry bout something..and its his smile...
Thank you so much!! Hugs!!

anamika said...

This is beautiful Ki..

Whenever I have a fight with my husband some how all the beautifull moments shared with him starts playing in front of my eyes..

Sakshi said...

Totally mushed :) especially the last few lines.

parshati dutta said...

you have no idea how much ur post cheered me up. thanks for the unexpected reassurance. *hugs*

TurbulentMind said...

when i was reading this..i remembered a certain smile which made me smile :)

a good read and a good thought :)

Shalini said...

Lovely post :)

Neha said...

I am glad you proved most of them wrong! and thanks for the tip ;)

Jack said...

Ki,

Motivational for those in similar situation, long distance relationship. May God bless you both with all the happiness to make up for these days.

Take care

PS : No time for visits?

CoffeeCat said...

i can soooo very much relate to this! coz dats wht i exactly do :)

I said...

What a lovely post! God bless you two :)

Jack said...

Ki,

True love never fades. Good advice to others to bear with long separation.

Take care

Spaz Kumari said...

fantastic.

speaking as one who's been in an LDR for over three years.

you have my best wishes and my compliments. :)

Madhura said...

*sigh*...ur story is such an inspiration....I'm hoping my soon to be ldr works out too...

ki said...

Thanks all of you :)

ki said...

Those of you in LDRs - take heart, it doesn't have to be a bad thing :D

Jack said...

Ki,

No new post? Hope all is well. Do let us know, please.

Take care

Anurag said...

each and everyone of us has to go through this at some point in time.....yours is dat time now.... All the best gal :)