April 30, 2010

Don't quite know what to write

What do you write when one of the people you admired the most has left the world? 


My great grandmom died day before yesterday. Yes, I'm saying died. Not passed away, 'no more' or other such genteel versions of the cold, hard truth. I got to see her lifeless, shrivelled up body ravaged by years of sickness. I got to see her being tied to a wooden pyre and being carried off. I got to even place a few grains of rice in her mouth before she got cremated. But I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. We got there too late.


She used to cook, clean and wash her own (9 yard) saris even till 4-5 years back. Considering that she died at the age of 97, that just shows how she was - life personified. Generations and generations benefited from her loving warmth - my grandfather and his family, my mom and her siblings, my siblings and I. There isn't anyone in the family she hasn't fed, bathed, clothed and lovingly scolded. Even though she was very unwell over the past few years, she fought to stay around for the birth of my cousin's baby a few months ago, her brother's engagement and my engagement. She wanted to come for the weddings too - I guess that wasn't meant to be.


To say that we'll miss her is an understatement. We're all going on with our lives and in a while, the searing pain of her loss will be gone. But there's a void in our hearts where she used to be. And it's never going to get filled in. I can see myself ten years from now, thinking of her just as much as I am today, telling my babies the very stories that she used to tell, feeding them the same comfort food and telling them about the great great (well, GREATEST) grandmother that they could ever have known.

26 people had something to say:

Ria said...

Hope she rests in peace. God bless her soul.

ki said...

Thanks ria :)

Crazy Diamond said...

*hug*

97. Brilliant... she must have touched so so so many lives na..:)

Hope her soul rests in peace! you know she'll be a part of your wedding celebrations and shower her blessings from wherever she is..

*hug*

ki said...

CD: *hug* :-*

freelancer said...

RIP
people like her comes once in a million lives.may the angels look over her now

ki said...

Freelancer: Thank you. :)

Sakshi said...

She is in a better place. And, she has given you the gift of memories. And all her blessings are always gonna be with you.

* hugs *

Pavitra .... said...

God bless her soul...
hugs...take care...
Very nice of you to write a post dedicated to her....
Hope she rests in peace...

Rati said...

*Huggguu* I can totally realte to every single thing you have written. I have seen my grandfather go and nothing can fill that void. All I can do is remember all the good and pampered times I have spent with him.

May your great granny's soul rest in peace.

Love!

blunt edges said...

sorry for your loss...life personified indeed.

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

Every word, just so true.

God bless her soul and your future. :)

Kisses.

Shayon said...

Here's a hug for you, girl... may she rests in peace!

ki said...

Thank you guys. Your condolences mean a lot. :)

Stupidosaur said...

I am in a strange situation here. I come after long time & get to know bad news and good news. Don't know if I should console you or congratulate you.

Maybe I can say that perhaps she left to return as your baby! Oh wait! That isn't till after 25 according to your list. But then before 30 also includes before 25, technically speaking. And anyways if its only towards 30, 10 year vacation in heaven will definitely do your granny good!

Am I being appropriate here? Who knows. I am not very familiar with being appropriate. I just typed what came in my mind. Here's wishing a happy vacation in heaven to your granny and a very vacactionish heavenly blissful wedded life you & Karthink.

BTW your wedding url sounds like Karthik calling Karthik. Oh wait Kirti calling Karthik and vice-versa was a very integral part of this story eh ;)!

Just a random irrelevant point: Does 9 yard sari imply you are 'Maharashtrian' by 'origin'?

Also why do you delete so many blogs. They are a good permanent memoir :P

G.G.G said...

Aww Ki,

I can truly understand your feelings..I went through the same last March when I lost my grandma..

Atleast she could see all 3 generations after her and would have fulfilled all her wishes in life..

Ashram said...

m sure ul be better soon..
may her soul rest in peace!!..shel always be there with you...all the time...
living for that long is quite an achievment...i can make out she was a amazing lady!!
ol d bst!
:)

Jack said...

Ki,

I am sorry to hear this sad loss but we have to face the hard facts of life. I am sure she is now smiling and blessing you all from heaven with God at her side. You can pay tribute to her by emulating her good traits.

Take care

Dhanya said...

really sorry to hear this, ki... *hugs* ... hope u recover from this terrible loss soon..

sulagna ™ said...

such beautiful people, go up and shine down on us forever, i ams ure she must be watching you right now, so cheer up..i know its painful but, life is so much more precious since you have so many memories of her now :) smile baby,

ki said...

Stupidosaur: LONG comment that. :D
I make blogs and delete them on whims...chalta hai. I don't need an online diary as a memoir. :)
Thanks for all the wishes, even the ones you think are innapropriate. They're sorta cute. :D and no...south indians wear nine yard too!

ki said...

@all: Thanks. It's nice to have so many people consoling me. :) :-*

Mads said...

Hope she rests in peace.. i know she's looking upar se at u..and at ur wedding, she'll throw roses upar se :D
grandmoms are something and great grandmoms are something really great!!
<3

Pesto Sauce said...

Sorry for the loss

ritu said...

RIP.may god give her salvation

Shalini said...

Dont quite know what to say..
*Hugs*

Annah said...

May she rest in peace.