May 25, 2011

And it's a strange feeling...

...when it seems like you don't know yourself anymore. You don't know the girl that went to college, that had a great job, that loved to read and to go to dance class.

And it's a strange feeling when some 'time off' seems to make you confused about where you wanted to go in the first place - do you really want that Master's in sociology? Or this business idea that you have - are you really good enough?

And it's a strange feeling when you're not just a baby anymore and you have to shoulder some responsibilities, when no one is going to take care of you anymore, when you have to stand up and do what is right and not what you want.

My name is Aparajita Karthik and I am rediscovering myself in bits and pieces. What I've learned so far?
Well, I really need to start writing again and I'm making a conscious effort to keep a journal. I'm not half as good as I used to be, but it's easy to get better when you know you used to be good.
I'm not sure about Sociology - I couldn't tell you anything about how a Masters degree in that would benefit me. But I do know that I want to start studying French again and once we're done with our move next month, I plan to join again. 3 hours a day/5 days a week. Sounds intense, huh? Well, just because I don't want to study Sociology doesn't mean I should sit at home and be a dud. And yes, I do know that I want to create my own makeup in the future someday, which brings me to the wonderful point about being responsible.
I need to work and earn some money and start saving to be able to do that someday. More importantly, my husband, who runs two houses on one person's salary would appreciate me taking some of it on.

Sigh. Married life is a blast, thankgod because growing up AND living a blah life while doing it would be the death of me. Still, there is a lot to do and one silly little Ki who has to learn to do it.

10 people had something to say:

Dhanya said...

Ki is back to blogging about her personal life again <3 Well, married life is such that it's difficult to find time for things you once used to love. You need to force yourself to find some time out for these important things though. If not, you will start feeling that you are life is becoming a tad too mechanical. Learn new things every day -- will keep you occupied AND happy :) Hope you get a nice job soon.

ki said...

Dhans: Yeah, it really is... things change so much with taking care of the house, living without elders taking care of you... I really do plan to take out time for me!
Thanks, I hope so too! <3

sulagna ™ said...

welcome back darling, yes we missed the gorgeous writer, but m sure she was busy discovering so many new things !!

Sakshi said...

WOHO! And we see you back in our part of the world! :)
AWWWW! HUGS! and I am sure just like you were best at being the care free little kid, you are gonna be equally wonderful in your new present role :)

Just know that we are with you.. to support you and love you!

Wishing you all the LUCK! :)

Freelancer said...

kiiii
after two months i log onto blogger and i see this post in the top of my dashboard :)

looks like married life suits you :) and with that comes the tag of being responsible. god knows i have to be that soon too....

keep writing, keep doing a helluva job with life. and my love to you and regards to your hubby

Pavitra .... said...

Hey Ki...so lovely to hear from you after soo long...
I can understand how married life is taking up most of your time...and i'm glad you are trying your best to catch up with all those things you did...the things you love....
Taking out some "ki" time in a day will really make you feel great...
Do blog more...
Hugs!!
Cheers!

Ik said...

I opened this page and my internet conked off the other day!I am so glad you're back with this!!:D All the bestttt Ki!!!:* Hope you have loads of fun doing this!:) and everything else!:D

Me said...

Nice to see you around again... :) and nicer that you are enjoying ur married life..

All the best!

Alok said...

In my opinion, dreams take priority over everything else. In my perfect world, everyone would take care of themselves and leave others to pursue their interests.

Of course, this view isn't "practical", but sometimes, while running after my own expectations, neglecting everything else (even those who're close to me), while going crazy learning and practising new things, I feel my sense of beauty returning to me.

That is when I realize: the practical world's for those who're lost.

Never let go of your dreams.

Nice to see you back!

Jack said...

Aparajita,

First of all CONGRATULATIONS. How I wish I was there on this happy occasion. MAY GOD BLESS YOU BOTH WITH MANY MANY YEARS OF TOGETHERNESS FULL OF LOVE, HAPPINESS, HEALTH AND PEACE.

Nice to see you back. For me you will remain little girl called Ki. I am sure with your confidence and intelligence you will succeed in whatever you venture into.

Hope to see you regularly. Do visit me if you find time.

Take care